Time to Waste....

Although this is called "Time to Waste" I don't actually have any time to waste! I really should be studying for finals, but here I am, on
Facebook and my Blog! Ahhhh!!

1.Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
If only it was that simple...I am going to go with no...it would be better for both of us!

2. What song describes your relationship status?
Don'tcha - Pussycat Dolls! Haha..just kidding...probably Hundred- the Fray

3. How much does your dog weigh?
Not even a clue!

4. Are you a heart breaker, or the heart breakee?
Recently the heart breakee, it sucks!

5. Ever waxed your legs?
Yes, hurts

6. Earrings or necklaces?
Earring in my upper ear, and a necklace

47. Who have you talked to most today?
My friend Mike

8. SEX!?
Yes please...just kidding...female

9. Friend of the opposite sex that lives closest to you?
David...lives on First East

10. Color of your shirt?
Grey

12. Who's on speed dial 5?
Ryan Tollenaar

13. What color is your background on your computer mainly?
Black (It has David Beckham on it!!)

14. Do you wish on 11:11?
Only when Pierce tells me too!

15. Good advice if you ever go camping?
Always bring lots of clothes because you never know when you might get soaking wet!

16. Are you a bad influence?
I like to think that I'm not, but I am! :|

17. What color are your eyes?
Blue

18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name?
I prefer mine

19. Would you do anything for someone?
Who is the someone?

20. Have you ever been called a whore?
Sure have!

21. Favorite Color:
Blue

22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
All the time! :)

23. What song is on?
Shine Your Light - Robbie Robinson (from Ladder 49, so sad!!)

24. Are your grades good?
They aren't too bad, but aren't stellar either!

25. Do you have any friends with benefits?
I wish!

26. Does your best friend have a facebook?
Yes

27. Who's page did you last visit?
Sharon Rae's!!

28. Last time you went out to lunch?
Hmm...went for lunch yesterday with my friend Sam

29. Do you watch the Gilmore Girls?
Yes...but not as good since they got a new writer!

30. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?
Jack Johnson or nails on a chalkboard?! They sound the same to me!

31. Have you ever watched the O.C and enjoyed it?
Only the Spiderman one!

32. Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D?
No, but I have several songs on my computer

33. Which radio stations are your favorites?
CJ in Calgary and the Bear in Edmonton

34. Are you a Lost fanatic?
I haven't even watched 2 minutes of that show

35. How many in your cell contact list?
71, as of yesterday! Jeff - lucky number 71!

36. Do you have an ozzy song in your library?
No, thankfully!

38. Alannis Morrisette?
Ewww...no!

39. Do you watch Family Guy Regularly?
Never watch it!

40. Favourite cat?
My fat cat Blacky!

41. Do you read?
Yes, but not during school...especially when I have to!

43. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
When I'm alone I do

44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one's home?
Never sing in the shower!

45. Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were bored?
Who hasn't!

46. What's your favorite memory with your crush(past or present)?
Getting lost while driving...and with a different one..they time they told me for about 5 minutes that I shouldn't be so hot, and watching lots of TV!

47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school?
Not that I remember

48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didn't ask her/him out because you were afraid?
I don't think I could ask someone out..I indirectly implied one time...didn't work out!

49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life?
I wrote a paper once...4 pages I believe

50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but your boyfriend/crush?
Sadly, I think I have, but really, who hasn't!?

51. Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance?
I don't think so...

52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?
If carbs are the only food group, than yes!

53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
Always!

54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
No

55. Do you know how to knit?
Sure do, my wonderful friend Leslie taught me!!!

56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover?
No...thats lame!

57.Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile?
I've written a song, but didn't put them in my profile! :|

58. Do you keep a diary or journal online?
I have a blog, obviously

59. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color?
Blue and Pink

60. Baskin Robins or Coldstone?
I've never been to Coldstone so Baskin Robins...good memories in Arizona and Cali!

61. Physics or chemistry?
Ewww...neither!

62. Earphones or headphones?
Earphone

63. pink or teal?
Pink!!!

64. Earrings or a ring?
Both?

65. Commitment, or casual dating?
Possibly commitment? Commitment kind of scares me however

66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Star Wars?
I have only seen Star Wars, so I'm going to go with neither

67. Fly or road trip?
Who am I going with?! If its someone I can handle driving with, a road trip, if not...flying!

68. Starbucks or Caribou?
Starbucks...mmmm....

69. What is your favorite Disney movie?
Beauty and the Beast

70. How much jewelry do you own?
Several necklaces, a couple rings, some earrings...

Don't be trusting...

            Well, I’m currently sitting in the bus station in Wetaskiwin. It’s a grand little place!! NOT!! I left Camrose at 7:30, and now have to wait until 10:45…the time is now 8:35. Kind of a bad system! So I had an incident yesterday that rattled me right to the core. It is reading week at our school, and there are very few people around campus. I was the only girl on my floor, including my RA. A random guy came onto my floor, started to chat with me, asking several questions that were too personal. He was trying to get to know me very quickly, but not letting as much information about himself out. He said he was looking at moving to Camrose from Edmonton, and was just checking out the city. I asked if he planned to come to school, and he said he already had his BEd from the U of A. I thought to myself, then why are you on a university campus in the dorms on the girl’s floor?! He was really friendly, quite tall, with very very disturbing eyes. They were very piercing. I tried to ditch him by saying I had to go for supper, but he insisted that he come with me. I was really uncomfortable, and with no one around I wasn’t sure what to do. I decided to go to the guys dorms to get a friend, a hockey player to come with me. The whole way up the stairs, I prayed he was there. If he wasn’t I had no plan except kick him in the shins and run! Not a great plan, but a plan all the same! So, Carter, my friend, and his friend, and I, and the creepy man who claimed to be Matt went to the cafeteria for supper. He sat with us for probably an hour. Carter kept telling him stories to try to freak him out, and show how weird this place is, but nothing worked! He ate it up and seemed more intrigued! I have never met such a creepy man in my whole life! Even my friend’s friend, also a hockey player, had to leave because he thought this guy was so strange. He kept asking to hang out with him, and how we should go to Edmonton and hit up Whyte Ave with him. Carter finally said he was leaving, and the guy asked me for my number. I informed him I wasn’t comfortable giving it to him and walked away. Carter and I were in the lobby of the dorms when we saw that he was coming back. We then bolted to the guys dorms and locked ourselves in his friend’s room. He ended up leaving a note on my white board, saying to call him or e-mail him some time, and left both his e-mail address and his phone number. I stayed with Carter for most of the day, and he had to escort me down to the basement to get my laundry. I have never been so terrified in my whole life. The situation doesn’t sound that bad, but the things he would say, and the things he would comment on, and the eyes that he would look at me with! After it happened, I thought about what could have happened. I was so lucky, that I was aware of his creepiness and that something was off about him. And those eyes!! I was so lucky to have someone like Carter to help me out. I replay it in my head if Carter wasn’t there, and lets say it didn’t end so happy.
            As I sit here, in the lovely bus station, drinking my $1 coffee I got to thinking. How can one person, rattle me so much, and change my sense of security? I don’t feel safe. Even in my room, with the door locked, knowing there were security guards at the front doors, with a detailed description of this guy, I didn’t feel safe. I slept for 2 hours, and did it with the light on and the TV on as well. I woke up several times in a hot sweat after dreaming about him. I haven’t had a nightmare in a long long time, and I’m sure glad I haven’t! One man changed the way I felt about being secure. And one man made me feel safe. How can one personal challenge my ability to feel safe, while another made me feel very secure?! And how can we ever really know someone? How do I really know that Carter won’t hurt me and this Matt guy will be fine?! I later Canada411ed his number that he left. Turns out it was a number from Morinville, with a totally different name. Matt claimed he was from Edmonton, and lived on Whyte Ave. Who can we trust?! I am just so thankful that I listened to my senses and my conscience, and Carter’s and was very careful. I am also so thankful that Carter was there to help me and make me feel safe. I honestly would have had a breakdown had it not been for him. So my challenge is this, be careful. Be skeptical. Don’t be as trusting as you might have been. I of course wasn’t trusting to this guy, but I think we should always have our edge. Especially the girls.

Hmmm...

 My lovely friend Sharon pointed out that a new post is long overdue.  I was trying to think of something intelligent to post a week or two back and nothing came to me.  I just decided to let you all know what I have been up to for the last little while, and what is coming up very soon!  Last night, I flew into Edmonton from my lovely week long vacation in the Mexican sun, specifically Playa del Carmen.  A family that I babysit(sat) for, and now become really good friends with, took me.  That mean, expense paid trip to a tropical destination!!  We stayed at the Sandos Playacar Beach Resort, right on the Ocean!  Let me sum up my time there: a beach, a pool, sun everyday, and unlimited alcohol.  The only thing that would have made it that much better would have been hot boys! There was one...Hector...he was part of the entertainment staff...he entertained me! Haha!  So, here I am, back in the freezing north, dreaming of the sun!  I also just discovered 
that I have two midterms at the beginning of next week!! EEEEEK!!  Well, I'm really out of exciting
things to talk about...but I do promise an exciting post very soon! 

New Years Resolutions...

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no ones definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein.



My favorite quote. I was thinking last night that I need a New Years resolution. Besides the obvious things like stop my bad habits, eat better, exercise more, study harder, I wanted a resolution that would mean something to me. I thought over the past year and thought of the areas that were trouble for me. Such areas were being silenced, being a victim, and allowing other people to dictate my actions. So basically, the exact opposite of the quote. It made sense for my resolution to be live by that quote. I'm learning to live for myself, not others; not allow people to silence me; not doing what other people think I should do. I'm tired of being pushed around and its time to take action!! Jamie's Resolution for 2007: not allowing myself to be silenced, never allowing myself to become a victim, and not accepting other people's definition of my life, but defining myself.

Song of the Week: A Day to be Alone - One Less Reason



 

Messenger can always bring out the truth...

Again, suffering from insomnia, I was just talking to a friend on messenger. It never ceases to amaze me how messenger can bring the truth out. I'm always more inclined to say things that I would not say in person or over the phone. First of all, why is that?! So, my friend is experiencing some lady problems. Being the good friend that I am, I lend an ear and try my best to see things from a girl’s point of view and offer solutions or just what the girl might be thinking. I must admit that we can be quite stupid sometimes, but really…everyone can be! He told me he was fuming after learning of something this girl did while they were broken up. I asked him if he was jealous…and he reluctantly admitted he was. I told him he obviously still had feelings for this girl, and he was even more upset when I told him this. He then told me that she is the only girl that makes him ‘irrational, jealous, lie’ and another one which I can’t remember at this time! It made me think. I have experienced this, and I’m sure that you have too. My question is this, how can a single person have such a huge effect on us? This is crazy especially since this person is usually not trying to control or manipulate. Sadly, if they did know that they make you feel this way, they might start. Is there a way that we can prevent ourselves from being caught up in this? I’ve been a victim, and it’s the worst feeling ever. Its almost like that person is controlling you without their knowledge. I’m sure you have heard that song by Bryan Adams, “When you love someone”. “You’ll do all the crazy things you can’t explain….” Like get so crazy jealous that you want to hunt down the ex-boyfriends? Or lie about what you did while you were broken up? Or retaliate just out of spite? The more I think about it, the more ludicrous is sounds. Its just a person, yet why can’t we control it? He said at one point that he’ll just forget about it, and retaliate…try to run from it. I kindly reminded him that it will come back to haunt him. Although I’m saying a lot of things, I have no idea where I am going! I decided that running was getting old, and was not working out for me as much as I was hoping. I told my person that makes me irrational, jealous, and lie that he does that to me. Not so much in those words! As much as I thought it was going to get rid of the problem, it hasn’t. But it has started to help me figure out why they do this to me. Well, I think I have confused you enough! Just thought I’d share some of my thoughts on life and such. Have a lovely day!



Song of the Week: September – One Less Reason



 

Women are like apples...

 Now I'm sure that you have received the e-mail that praises women, saying that they are apples and the good ones are on the top of the tree, and men are too lazy to reach to the top, but instead pick from the bottom. On occasion, a good man comes along who is willing to pick from the top of the tree, getting a really good woman. A year or two back, I got a variation of this e-mail. At the bottom of the paragraph description of good women, there was a few sentences that will always stick in my brain..."Now men. Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes and as women, we have to pound the sh*t out of them so they are something decent to have dinner with." I try to be an optimistic person, but I often fail at it. I have been optimistic, hoping that there are in fact, good guys out there. Being at university, several people have asked me where the good guys are...I tend to respond with, "They are already taken." But I have discovered something tonight. There are very few good guys. Now, you don't have to share my view, and I'm sure, if you have a wonderful man, you won't. I was talking to a guy tonight, thinking he was a nice guy. He's always treated me with respect, he's been very quick to ask forgiveness if he's offended me or upset me. But tonight, I saw a side that wasn't very pleasant. Going back to the e-mail, how many guys are willing to reach up to the top of the tree and pick us wonderful women? Also, my promise to wait for a gooder. Is there even enough gooders for us all? It has been my experience that there are very few good guys out there. They may appear all warm and fuzzy on the outside, but we all have our quirks do we not? I have been played more in these last couple months, than in my entire life. Why is that?! Even by people that I expected more from. That brings me to think that possibly we areexpecting too much? I mean, as women, we are by no means perfect, or close to it. Have we just been taught to only be treated like princesses, and refuse to accept anything less? I mean, yes, we accept less, but all along, wanting more. Are we being entirely too ambitious in our quest for our perfect man? I also can't help but blame myself for being played. Do I just expect better and continually get disappointed? Am I setting myself up for failure? Is Jamie, the pessimist, actually being too optimistic? I realize that I am still young, and have plenty of time to find myself a wonderful man, but I can't help but question whether he is in fact out there. My question is this..are there really guys out there willing to pick from the top of the tree, treat us women like princess, and willing to go through hell and back to be with us?

Song of the Week: 9 crimes - Damien Rice

All nighter!

 Well, the time is now 7:04 am and I have class in exactly 56 minutes.  I just pulled my first successful all nighter!  I also successfully wrote a 6 page English essay on the representation of men in Translations and "Goblin Market."  Sounds pretty interesting doesn't it!?  I bet you are jealous of me, and rightfully so!  My roommate also thought it would be fun to lock the door. I'm 
not even sure if she is in there.  I guess I'll be going to class in my socks!  Super!  

Song of the Week: Machine - Josh Groban