Not Ready To Make Nice...

 “I’m not ready to make nice. I’m not ready to back down.
I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round.
Its too late to make it right; probably wouldn’t if I could;
Cause I’m mad as hell, can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should.”

I really, really enjoy the song 'Not Ready To Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks. I was listening to it the other day, and a couple thoughts came across my mind. I decided that I would share them with all of you. So I was thinking, why do we not want to make nice? One of my favorite quotes says something to the effect of...Anger is like hot coals; you only end up burning yourself. Its so true. I have a 'friend' right now that I am not ready to make nice with. Is it hurting this individual? Most likely not at all. Is it hurting me! Yes, yes it is! Making the conscious effort to avoid this person is just so much work. At times, I miss their company, their stupid jokes, and the fun we would have. Yet, for some reason, I'm still not ready to make nice. Why is that? Why do we hang on to bitterness and anger, when we are really the ones getting hurt? Its like we have this idea in our mind, that the longer we hang on to this anger and bitterness, the more its hurting the other person. When will we realize that this doesn't work?! I know it, but why won't I change the way I feel? Could it be that we are just afraid of being placed in that position of being so vulnerable? I know that I am very afraid of feeling or being vulnerable…could that be why I don't want to make nice? The interesting line in this song is the one that says she probably wouldn’t even if she could. Our culture seems to have this obsession with making people pay for what they did or didn’t do. Obviously, the writer feels the way that most of the rest of us do… “Ha, they screwed me over, so now I’m going to hold a grudge and be angry at them, and make them pay!” But in all honesty, we are only screwing ourselves. I would really like to say that me not letting go and making nice with this particular individual is really hurting them, and that I’m fine, but I’m not. The worst part is that I am honestly not ready to make nice. The big pondering question…Why are we not ready to make nice?

Song of the Week: Hide and Seek-Imogen Heap
And of course: Not Ready to Make Nice-The Dixie Chicks

College Life...

Well, I'm all settled in at the Augustana Faculty of the University of Alberta in Camrose. No, not Canmore...Camrose, its south of Edmonton. I'm living in Residence, and I have a roommate, Bryarly. My major is Political Studies, which I'm really enjoying so far, which I think is a plus! My roomie plays basketball, and the two girls across the hall also play, so they got me the job of being the manager of the Women's Basketball Team. I get to travel everywhere they go, and go to practices and such. Its lots of fun so far. The girls on the team are really great. There is definitely not a boy yet...and not until Christmas, because I have rules! Sadly, no real prospects either! I've met lots of interesting people...some very strange ones as well! I also went to my first kegger. It wasn't that exciting. Some girls from the team and I just sat on the couch and watched everyone make fools of themselves!! It was pretty funny to see so many crazy people! So, just thought I'd give you an update. Yes, I'm still alive and kicking!



Song of the Week: The Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin